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----- Original message -----
Sun, 17 Jul 2016 00:47:42 -0400 (EDT)
Received: by 10.79.33.10 with HTTP; Sun, 17 Jul 2016 00:47:42 -0400 (EDT)
From: Tara Tvardovsky
Date: Sun, 17 Jul 2016 00:47:42 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: S.O.S. Send Help.
To: romanreloaded@gmail.com

Okay, so I'm not totally sure what the Hell happened or how I got here. One second, I'm sitting in the living room and the next I'm landing (and not very gracefully, mind,) on the ground in the middle of some field somewhere. I have no idea where the fuck I am, either, but I'm almost certain that it's Hell or something like it. All I know is that it's the middle of the night and I spent the first 20 minutes I was here wandering around barfoot, sporting a giant sploch of bright blue nail polish on a fucking cat sweater I bought at Goodwill. Wherever I am, whatever backwater hole in the wall this place is, I'm fairly certain that I'm their new official town crazy lady. ... Although, I can only hope they haven't actually noticed me, considering that I've, uh... borrowed (we'll call it borrowed, anyway) a car, a laptop, a jacket and someone's shoes since arriving and being noticed will probably land me in jail.

My other theory is that I haven't actually left the house at all. Either that or this is some sort of fucked up acid trip, I can't decide. Not that I can actually remember the last time I did acid, but it's probably the only thing that could feasibly explain what the fuck is going on here, because this... This doesn't make any sense. At all. Nothing that I can think of can possibly explain whatever the hell just happened.